Changing your experience of your life is not only possible, but is easier than you might think.
This is because your experience of reality largely depends on our perception of events. And your perception of events is largely dependent on the narrative you attach to them.
We all have a running commentary in our heads, evaluating, assessing and judging events as they unfold, and we can continue to replay this commentary over and over, long after the event has finished, often without ever questioning the objectivity of our story.
As any crime scene investigator will tell you, every event can be seen from multiple perspectives, depending on where you’re standing, your preconceptions and biases, and even your past experiences of similar events, all of which create a subconscious filter through which you see things. They all come into play to create a story.
This concept is super important to understand, because the stories we tell ourselves are the threads that, over time, weave together to create the tapestry of our life.
Just say, for example, the weather is forecast to be cold and rainy. One person might describe it as horrible weather. Another might describe it as wintery. How might these descriptions influence how each person anticipates the day ahead?
In my mind, a wintery day conjures images of woolly hats, warm fires and hot chocolate. Horrible weather creates an image of myself struggling against the driving rain as my umbrella is blown inside out and I get drenched. I feel much more positive about a wintery day than I do a horrible one.
Multiply this throughout the many facets of your life and you can see the power of your internal narrative.
Your stories create your perception, which creates your moods and emotions. When you change your language, you change your story. When you change your story, you change your experience of life.
The first step begins with observing the building blocks of all stories - the words you use.
Ask yourself - am I adding extra drama by using excessively negative words? Or am I softening the impact of things not going exactly my way by choosing words that hold within them the possibility of pleasure, joy or growth - or at the very least, acceptance?
Here are some examples:
Devastated vs disappointed
I have to vs want to
It was a disaster vs it was challenging
And it works in the positive too…
Fine vs amazing
Good vs delicious
Nice vs heavenly
Not only can you reduce the sting of the more difficult moments by mindfully choosing the words you use, you can also amplify pleasure from the positive experiences you have.
Now there’s an important caveat here; I’m not asking you to repress your emotions or sugarcoat the hard things that need to be felt in their fullness. What I’m talking about is using a mindset practice to become aware of all the ways you might be intensifying your suffering unnecessarily, by forgetting or not realising that you have a choice about how you tell your story.
This is one of the reasons The Illumine Method™ is such a powerful therapy tool - because it allows you to revisit past events and see them from another perspective.
In doing so you can rewrite the story of your past and loosen its grip on you, allowing you to finally be free.
About Samantha Dawn
Samantha Dawn is a Mindbody Therapist & creator of The Illumine Method™. She specialises in Life Transitions & Direction, Trauma Resolution, Weight Loss, Emotional Eating, Anxiety & Relationships.
Samantha consults in Adelaide, South Australia and online. Book a consult with Samantha here.
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